well I have now had 3 visits to the clinic without you and each time it gets harder. I hate the waiting room as my mind sees you sat next to me. I hate the Dr asking if I need a hot drink afterwards because you are not there to share  it. I hate the coming home in agony knowing I will spend the next day in bed without you. But most of all I hate not hearing your voice, asking if I am OK.  This is not what we planned Hickeybodd and I hate that. Miss you in everything I do xx