As I sit here , lonely and so sad, I can't help but think that in four days time we should have been celebrating our Silver Wedding Anniversary.  How we planned to renew our vows in church. How you asked your doctors to get you to this date. How a year ago we were so happy, we actually thought you stood a chance and we made plans for the first time in two decades. Fate or whatever decided otherwise and we never got to that church, never fulfilled our plans. Every day my heart breaks a little bit more as I awake and for a split second I think you are by my side, but only for a second and then I realise you have gone, and my heart hurts just a little more. The love I have for you will last forever but this pain will only end when we meet again and you hold me once more. When I see those beautiful eyes and that cheeky smile I will be whole once more and only then will I find peace.
My vow to you  was "I will love you more today than yesterday but not as much as I will tomorrow. Forever & a day. So on Tuesday, I will silently repeat my vow and pray with all my heart my words find themselves with you. Love you so much you gorgeous man xxx